Still no texts. For a while, to fill the void, I would leave my bestie voicemails that just said the things I normally would have texted. Like, "Do you ever think that maybe walruses aren't real?" or, "What was the name of that one obscenely greasy kid in our Euro class?" But it just wasn't the same.
Last night, though, when we were at a stage past delirium and cracking up in the middle of my bestie's kitchen, I thought to myself, these things should be recorded somewhere. Here, in fact.
" (in passenger seat, talking about how hungry she is) Oh man I am so excited for this key lime pie yogurt times.* Except I need your help reading the expiration date first--I think it's written in code."
Bestie (slicing cheese for a snack): "Do you want more than that?"
Me: "Yes."
Bestie, adding another slice: "More?"
Me (with flat voice): "Yes."
Bestie: "Geez, you sound like a cheese robot."
Me: "Haha...ha... wait... wouldn't that be a robot made of cheese?
Bestie: "No..."
Me: "Then that would be the worst robot ever. You give it electricity to power it and all it does is eat your cheese?"
Bestie: "Yeah, AKA, no one even likes you, Spinelli."
The title of this post is another good story, but must be told in person, as there are accompanying hand gestures.
*We use the word "times" to replace any of various verbs. So, 'I am so excited to eat this key lime pie yogurt' becomes 'I am so excited for this key lime pie yogurt times.'
